Blog of Doom II Hell on Earth!

Yes yes, the blog of doom returns. I will be updating this in conjunction with the attempted 'revival' of the mighty RP. The greatest forum of all time has come to an end and it's small band of epic posters are currently deciding on what to do next. Anyone who watch battlestar Galactica will know what I'm on about LOL we are indeed a "rag tag fugitive fleet of king awesomeness"

Gaming Mission

Well about 20 games have fallen from the Asta train through my letterbox. All 360 titles which I will be trying over the coming weeks, I'll probably not write full reviews about them but will deffo share my opinion of them.

Already possibly the greatest worst game ever is PDC Darts LOL it's is graphically boring and the gameplay is basic at best HOWEVER the geordie commentator is pure comedy genius (I have since learned his name is Sid Wadell or something and he is actually like that LOL), the stuff he comes out will is bizarre. The gameplay also reminds of Bullseye on the Spectrum which was king awesomness. Fucking great shit game, totally great shitness, world class ace shitness - if you see this game for 59p buy that sucka clean up. I'll leave you with a quote from the might Sid himself..........like a rat up a shutter!!!????? WTF??????

Liverpool Football Club

Yes, a club steeped in history. Fans so gracious and honourable they make non-Liverpool fans look like hooligan manatees. Today is a sad day for such a great club, Sir Benny Hillitez has had a bad night, well a bad week, well a bad year.

As a Coventry fan I understand the pain they have endured tonight, especially in the wake of the Portsmouth game. Coventry lost to a club with a grand total of 7 pence and a banana in the bank, but I'm not here to dwell on that.

Of course I am totally lying, Liverpool fans are the most ungracious fans that have ever existed in any sport in and century in the history of everything and their team is managed by a clearly deranged, spanish troll and owned by some crazy yanks. The pure unadulterated genius of the Reading game is this, a simple comment made by a fake scouse scum friend of mine on my facebook status following the Stephen 'ex-scouse scum, monkey looking, sick note twat' Wright own goal...............he simply put 'Stephen Wright Wright Wright'

Fast forward 24 hours, the faltering underachieving (well under achieving to the scouse scum fans, all other footy fans realise no teams 'deserves' to win trophies just because they are Liverscum) Liverpool face a replay at home against Reading. Much like the Coventry game, there is last minute drama and then a goal in extra time to crush the red fools must to the delight of most of the footballing world (be honest now). All that remains to do is post the following on a certain fake scouser's facebook page.....................Shane Long Long LONG!

Beachball indeed - season over for the filth, much merryment for everyone else

The Blog is Back with a brand new invention!

Yes, it's been some time since my last update. This is due to me running my virus checker which deletes all my intorweb history and password. This combined with my asstute laziness equals Blog update FAIL!
I trawled through my shit and found my password so the blog is back on! I'll update later after the AIDS filled shit that is a monday at work.

Postman Pat - An Inconvenient Truth

Postman Pat - a stalwart of children’s television since the early 80s. He’s trustworthy, respectable and a pillar of the quaint village of Greendale. Together with Jess his pet cat and his plain but reliable red van he provides a class A postal service and that’s how it was the last time I watched, maybe 10 years ago? Maybe even more.

Postman Pat – a delivery service emperor. Just what the fuck? Have you seen Postman Pat recently? I don’t know if he creamed off Greendale’s pension fund or married some old baroness then knocked her off for the dosh but DAMN, the man is now running a service that rivals FedEx!! He has expanded his vehicle base to include a post bus, a minivan, a motorcycle and a fucking Airwolf! All this AND his original van!!!!

Now of course the BBC fat cats will have you believe this is all above board but I’m more cynical in these time of recession. Pat is no longer to be trusted, if he has scammed his way to the top or if £90 million of licence payer’s money funds his delivery empire, something needs to be done before he’s found drowned next to his 200 foot yacht. I’m not convinced about Jess either, I think there’s some Botox involved there and perhaps some cocaine use.

People, I urge you, be vigilant.

Lazy Saturdays

Saturdays have always been something special. Fridays are great but are still drenched in the stench of work, Sundays are just filled with dread at the oncoming storm of Monday but Saturday is freedom – pure and simple. Sometimes if hung over excessively you can lose a large chunk of this glorious day so I try to avoid getting alcohol poisoning more than once a month.

Following the lie in (well I used to get a lie in), Saturdays are all about the football, it takes up all of the morning and afternoon. Following your tragic team, laughing at rival’s tragic teams and of course screaming at all tragic teams connected to any footy bets you might have. Saturday evening is like a multi choice of fun, stay in watch a film? Go out and get wrecked with mates? Invite mates around to play games and get wrecked? You get the picture. There is a new addition to my Saturday now; the trip to mum’s with my little ‘un. OK, so the lie in has pretty much gone so I’m up anyway but that gives me the time I need to get up and out early doors. Get to mum’s anytime between 9 and 11am, sit through the usual cooing over the baby then hit the local shopping area to put on the footy bets.

Get home usually just as the 3pm kick offs are about to get started, make a cuppa and sit my arse down, watch the scores come in on the TV while listening to the mighty Sky Blues lose again on the radio – it don’t get any better than this.

Alien vs. Predator

Both horrendous films, both absolutely and categorically raping the arse out of classic 80’s films that are corner stone’s in sci fi lore. It has been brought to my attention that some imbecilic people think that AVP is BETTER than AVPR. Let me be as clear as possible about this, they are wrong. AVP is one of the worst films ever; the bastardisation of the Alien/Predator franchise in this film is truly unforgivable. There are just too many FAILS to list but the one that sticks out the most is the whole ‘hmmmmmm predator cuts of alien’s head and tail, then gives them to token human female to use as a shield and spear’ no, just fucking NO, shut the fuck up and go home. Predator would decapitate said token human for being a twat. Just a quick addition, Predator in this film seems to me a 5 foot tall, 5 foot wide rugby player???? Predator should not be a fucking munchkin.

Enter AVPR, ALMOST as bad as AVP, redeemed ever so slightly by some half decent action scene (the Predalien however is ultimate fail). AVPR at least nearly thinks about trying to save some of the original concepts (but ultimately fails miserably).
Both films are gash, both fail by trying to panda to the kiddie audience now sought after by Hollywood like Gary Glitter at a school. When I first watched Alien/Aliens/Predator/Predator2 I was shockingly under aged, watching them at a mates house on some dodgy VHS copy and was fucking hooked by everything about them, now we are stuck with Hollywood AIDS infesting the industry selling the proud and true sci fi genre to fucking kids by diluting the things that made them great, most of all the story. BTW Predator is by far the better alien.

Fuck you Hollywood